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All praise is for Allah, Lord
of the worlds. Great blessings and peace.

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upon the one sent as a mercy
to all the worlds.

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And upon all his family
and companions. Now then.

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Before we proceed with completing.

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the principles we began
in this session.

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I would like to note two matters.

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First, I was told the sisters
disagreed last night about prayer.

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Should they pray in congregation
or individually?

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The jurists differed on this long ago.

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00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:57,040
So it is no surprise
the sisters differ over it.

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Some jurists said women praying
together in congregation is recommended.

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Another group said
it is disliked.

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Malik said a woman should not
lead another woman.

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A group of jurists held.

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that women's congregational
prayer is allowed.

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And praying individually
is also allowed.

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So this is permissible,
and that is too, with no preference.

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And this is the stronger view.

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It is reported by Abd al-Razzaq
and others, from Aishah (RA).

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that she prayed with women
and stood in their middle.

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It has chains
that strengthen one another.

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Ibn Abi Shaybah reports:
Umm Salamah led women in their midst.

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Its chain has corroboration.
Al-Nawawi authenticated both.

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There is no doubt both reports
are suitable as evidence.

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This was the practice of our mother
Aishah (RA), and of Umm Salamah.

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But it appears this was not
done continuously; it only happened.

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So what seems correct to me,
and Allah knows best, is permissibility.

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What is better is what
best serves the interest.

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For example, if a woman
can better gather her heart.

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If a woman is more focused
praying with her sisters as a group.

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Then it is better
that they pray as a group.

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And if she is more focused
when praying alone, she should do so.

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If they do pray as a group.

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The one leading them stands
in their midst, not in front.

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This is permissible, as far as I know.

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Everyone who said women may pray
together among themselves.

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say their imam stands among them,
in the middle.

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And they may also pray individually.

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Even if some pray together
and others alone, there is no harm.

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What is better?
What do we recommend?

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What is preferable depends on the
resulting benefit. If a benefit follows

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such as teaching unlearned women and
the like. Congregational prayer is best.

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And if the benefit lies in praying
individually, like khushu' and such.

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it is better for them to pray alone.

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That is regarding the first matter.
As for the second matter.

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a number of brothers have told me.

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They say the principles we present
are very beneficial.

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But they ask me to slow down.

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so they can write everything.

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But that is not feasible
within the time allotted to us.

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Some brothers said it would be nice
if you gave us some references.

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For what you quote from the scholars.
That is good, but it also takes time.

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So when I saw these requests
from the brothers, it occurred to me.

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to make what I am presenting
into a text.

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and give it initial attention so that
I properly attribute the views

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to their authors, and the texts
to their sources.

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Also, I complete what I say
because I jot some as symbols to remember.

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Then, Allah willing,
perhaps this will be within two days.

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I will give this to the brothers
in charge of the course.

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and they, in turn, will send it
to the brothers and sisters.

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so that this, Allah willing,
will be a complete text.

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and will suffice for what
the brothers ask.

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because some brothers tell me
they went home yesterday.

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and found much of the lesson
missing because I was writing.

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and I cannot keep up.

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with all that is being said.
Allah willing, this will meet the need.

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Let us return to our subject
and continue speaking of principles.

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for dealing with family and friends
and we have reached the ninth principle.

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The ninth principle: gentleness
in dealing with them, and mercy.

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Dealings between family and
companions should be built on mercy.

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And it should be clothed
in gentleness.

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Dealings with family and companions
are built and sustained by mercy.

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And gentleness is its garb and style.

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Gentleness is softness
in speech and action.

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And taking the easier way.

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And avoiding violence and harshness
whenever possible.

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Gentleness is softness of manner.

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In speech and in action.

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And choosing the easiest course.

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And avoiding violence and harshness
whenever possible.

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Sometimes firmness is part of gentleness.

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If the matter calls for it.
Yes, the default is softness.

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But the matter may require
some firmness to achieve good.

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The closest example is the one
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah RH gave.

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One believer to another is like
two hands, each washing the other.

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A believer needs another believer.
Washing, by default, is gentle.

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A person washes his hands gently.

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But Shaykh al-Islam said
dirt may need some scrubbing.

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Sometimes there is grease, or
something gentle washing won't remove.

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So a person needs to scrub.

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That is how it is. Some of the Salaf
said firmness is part of gentleness.

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That is firmness in its proper place.
And it is contrary to the norm.

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It is only for a
temporary need.

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It was narrated from our mother
Aisha RA that she said.

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The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said.

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"Allah is gentle and loves
gentleness in all matters."

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Agreed upon.

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It is also reported from Aisha (RA).
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said.

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"O Aisha, Allah is Gentle
and loves gentleness."

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This is the first point.
Allah loves gentleness.

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This is enough to make the believer
eager for gentleness.

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Your Lord Allah ﷻ gave you every
blessing and nurtured you through them.

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He loves gentleness.
Will you not be among its people?

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"And He gives for gentleness
what He does not give for harshness."

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This is the second matter that makes
the believer keen on gentleness.

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Allah gives you for gentleness
what He does not give you for harshness.

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By gentleness, by Allah's leave,
you gain what you cannot by harshness.

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"And what He does not give
for anything else."

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Reported by Muslim in his Sahih.

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Our mother Aisha RA narrated
that the Prophet ﷺ said.

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“Gentleness is not in anything
except that it adorns it.

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Nor is it removed from anything
but that it mars it. Reported by Muslim.

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This is the third point.
The adornment of dealings is gentleness.

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By Allah Almighty, dealings with
kin and friends shine through gentleness.

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As long as dealings are clothed
in gentleness, they succeed.

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And they bring good.

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Abu al-Darda' RA narrated
that the Prophet ﷺ said.

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“Whoever is given his share
of gentleness is given his share of good.

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And whoever is denied his share
of gentleness is denied his lot of good.

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Ahmad and al-Tirmidhi narrated it.
al-Albani authenticated it.

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It is narrated from Jarir RA
that the Prophet ﷺ said.

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“Whoever is deprived of gentleness
is deprived of goodness.”

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Narrated by Muslim.
Gentleness, brothers, is a principle.

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Even in dealing with aggressive enemies.

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If that is so in speech, what about
dealing with family and companions?

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In a hadith, Aisha RA said.

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A group of Jews—three to nine men—came

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to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.

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They said, “Death be upon you,”
making it sound like, “Peace be upon you.”

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They were distorting the words,
meaning, “Death be upon you.”

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Aisha RA said: I understood it.
I noticed what they had said.

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So I said, “Death and curse be upon you.”

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She said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ
said, “Easy, O Aisha.”

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"Indeed, Allah loves gentleness
in all matters." Glory be to Allah.

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These Jews
overstepped in their wording.

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She said, "I said, O Messenger
of Allah, didn't you hear what they said?"

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The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said,
"I already said, 'And upon you.'"

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The Prophet replied,
"And upon you."

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Our reply is heard against them,
not theirs against us.

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But there's no need to forgo
gentleness.

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If this is with those who offended,
then what about family?

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How about friends?

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Ibn al-Qayyim RH said:
Gentleness with people.

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It is treating them with kindness
as one would love to be treated.

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Do not treat them with violence,
severity, or roughness; it repels them.

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It emboldens them against him
and poisons them against him.

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Nothing benefits the heart more
than treating people gently.

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For in dealing with people this way,
he is either a stranger.

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You win his affection and love.

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If he is a friend and beloved,
you preserve his friendship and love.

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Or if he is an enemy and hater.

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With your kindness, you quench
his fire and ward off his harm.

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So kindness is wholly good.
And gentleness is wholly good.

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This way of dealing with people
should be built on mercy.

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Mercy with family and friends
is a blessing.

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It preserves affection
and brings hearts together.

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Allah ﷻ said, “So by mercy
from Allah, you were gentle with them.

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And if you had been rude and
hard-hearted, they'd flee from you.

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So pardon them and ask forgiveness
for them, and consult them in the matter.

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And once you decide, trust in Allah.
Allah truly loves those who rely on Him.”

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Glory to Allah ﷻ!

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Allah ﷻ says to the Prophet ﷺ.

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Had you been harsh and hard-hearted,
they'd have left your side.

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By Allah, if a person were harsh
and hard-hearted with his family.

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They would flee from him,
and their hearts would turn away.

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If he were harsh, hard-hearted
with his companions.

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They would flee from him
and scatter away from him.

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So mercy from Allah ﷻ is a blessing.
The Prophet ﷺ said.

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“The people of Paradise are three,
that is, three kinds.”

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“One with authority, just,
charitable, and rightly guided.”

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00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:27,480
“And a man merciful and tender-
hearted to every relative and Muslim.”

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“And a chaste, self-restrained man
with dependents.”

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Those three are the people of Paradise.
And the point is the Prophet ﷺ saying.

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“A man merciful and tender-hearted
to every relative and Muslim.”

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A merciful man—meaning
toward young and old.

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Soft-hearted toward
every relative especially.

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And every Muslim in general.

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He has this quality
with those near and far.

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00:17:08,420 --> 00:17:15,520
But he mentioned relatives first
because they deserve it more.

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He is merciful; his heart
softens and overflows with mercy.

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For every Muslim in general
especially those close to him.

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Among those close to a person
are his family and companions.

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00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,156
It is reported from
Abdullah ibn Mas'ud RA.

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that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said.

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00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:51,960
“Shall I not tell you who is
forbidden to the Fire?

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00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,100
Or to whom the Fire
is forbidden?

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00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:59,900
Every approachable, gentle,
easygoing person.”

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00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,000
Reported by al-Tirmidhi.
al-Albani: Sahih.

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00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:17,100
This is a trait of the people
of Paradise: an approachable believer.

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00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:24,932
Whom people love to be near—
gentle and easygoing.

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00:18:26,532 --> 00:18:31,232
The easygoing one does not treat
people harshly or be hard on them.

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00:18:33,792 --> 00:18:40,712
These are traits of the people
of Paradise, goodness, and perfection.

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00:18:42,192 --> 00:18:46,782
This is with every Muslim.
So what about family? What about friends?

194
00:18:46,912 --> 00:18:53,792
So dealings between family
and friends should be built on mercy.

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00:18:54,752 --> 00:18:57,552
And be clothed in gentleness.

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00:19:00,212 --> 00:19:02,632
So that we may live a good life.

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00:19:03,652 --> 00:19:08,332
The tenth principle.
And what will make you know the tenth?

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00:19:10,472 --> 00:19:18,312
Avoiding anger, and not blaming
an angry person for what comes from him.

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00:19:23,712 --> 00:19:30,738
Abu Hurayrah (RA) narrated
that a man said to the Prophet ﷺ.

200
00:19:30,822 --> 00:19:33,172
“Advise me,” he said.
“Do not get angry.”

201
00:19:33,832 --> 00:19:36,972
He repeated it many times:
'Do not get angry.' Reported by Bukhari.

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00:19:38,072 --> 00:19:40,628
A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said.

203
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:45,932
O Messenger of Allah, mention to me
the essentials of goodness.

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00:19:48,052 --> 00:19:50,168
The Prophet ﷺ said to him,
'Do not get angry.' It is mentioned

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00:19:50,252 --> 00:19:52,832
Some narrations mention
that he left, then returned.

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00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,132
He asked, 'Messenger of Allah,
advise me.' He said, 'Do not get angry.'

207
00:19:57,692 --> 00:20:00,108
Then he left and returned again.

208
00:20:00,192 --> 00:20:02,812
He asked, 'Messenger of Allah,
advise me.' He said, 'Do not get angry.'

209
00:20:05,252 --> 00:20:14,152
And anger, as they say, is the basis
of problems between family and friends.

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00:20:22,192 --> 00:20:25,292
It is rage in the heart of Adam's son.

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00:20:28,292 --> 00:20:34,452
Its effects appear on the body,
and it leads to taking others to task.

212
00:20:38,732 --> 00:20:44,112
The root of anger is an ember
in the heart that makes it boil.

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00:20:47,912 --> 00:20:53,832
Its effects show on a person:
in his appearance and conduct.

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00:20:56,532 --> 00:21:01,732
In his appearance, his neck veins
may swell, and something may come out.

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00:21:02,572 --> 00:21:08,861
Something may come out of his mouth
showing intense anger, like froth.

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00:21:10,652 --> 00:21:17,272
His tongue may utter what it does
not usually utter, like curses and such.

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00:21:18,292 --> 00:21:21,712
And it leads to holding one accountable.

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00:21:23,122 --> 00:21:28,192
The scholars say anger in people
can be praiseworthy or blameworthy.

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00:21:30,152 --> 00:21:36,452
Praiseworthy anger is when
one becomes angry for Allah ﷻ.

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00:21:37,732 --> 00:21:42,252
Such as when a forbidden act is done
or an obligation is neglected.

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00:21:43,972 --> 00:21:48,832
Or when honor calls for it.

222
00:21:50,892 --> 00:21:56,812
Like being accused in one's religion;
honor calls for anger and defense.

223
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:03,092
Or when proper care requires it.

224
00:22:05,132 --> 00:22:13,432
As when a father sees his daughter
lax in hijab; he advises her in vain.

225
00:22:13,952 --> 00:22:18,792
He sees her still being lax;
then this anger is praiseworthy.

226
00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:23,872
But there must be a condition.

227
00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:35,632
One should be careful that
nothing improper appears in look or deed.

228
00:22:38,272 --> 00:22:42,431
There are things, brothers,
that scholars say are natural in anger.

229
00:22:43,672 --> 00:22:50,472
A person's face turning red
in anger is natural, no problem.

230
00:22:51,232 --> 00:22:57,012
But pulling one's hair
or striking one's face.

231
00:22:58,512 --> 00:23:05,532
When angry, that is improper,
even in praiseworthy anger.

232
00:23:07,292 --> 00:23:12,448
Praiseworthy anger is what is
for Allah or required by honor.

233
00:23:12,532 --> 00:23:15,102
That too is really for Allah,
but the point is anger for Allah.

234
00:23:15,432 --> 00:23:18,312
That is, when something forbidden
is done, or a duty is left.

235
00:23:19,312 --> 00:23:26,372
Or what honor requires,
or care for one's offspring.

236
00:23:26,892 --> 00:23:31,192
And a person should take care
that nothing unbecoming comes from him.

237
00:23:31,472 --> 00:23:35,392
And that nothing unbecoming
be seen in him.

238
00:23:37,052 --> 00:23:40,292
Nothing unbecoming should appear on him.

239
00:23:41,752 --> 00:23:43,972
This anger is praiseworthy.

240
00:23:45,252 --> 00:23:47,592
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would get angry.

241
00:23:49,832 --> 00:23:54,772
But all of the Prophet's ﷺ anger
was praiseworthy.

242
00:24:00,192 --> 00:24:04,952
And the effect of natural anger
would appear on his face.

243
00:24:07,432 --> 00:24:11,232
And people would know his anger
from the mark on his face.

244
00:24:16,492 --> 00:24:21,268
ﷺ—the Prophet ﷺ.

245
00:24:21,352 --> 00:24:27,152
When he entered his home and saw
a curtain with images.

246
00:24:27,252 --> 00:24:33,278
The Prophet ﷺ grew angry
and his face changed with anger

247
00:24:33,362 --> 00:24:38,822
until Aisha RA saw the anger
on the Prophet's ﷺ face.

248
00:24:45,342 --> 00:24:46,782
Also, people would say:

249
00:24:47,702 --> 00:24:53,278
The Prophet ﷺ was forgiven
his past and future sins

250
00:24:53,362 --> 00:24:56,822
While we are what we are—
we are held to account for sins.

251
00:24:58,802 --> 00:25:01,822
So when the Prophet ﷺ heard this,
he would become angry.

252
00:25:03,542 --> 00:25:08,362
he would say, "Indeed, I am the most
mindful of Allah and fear Him most."

253
00:25:10,882 --> 00:25:16,962
This is praiseworthy anger.
Blameworthy anger lacks this.

254
00:25:18,902 --> 00:25:24,222
It is not for Allah, nor called for
by honor, nor by due care.

255
00:25:24,802 --> 00:25:28,662
Or when, in anger, something
unbefitting appears on a person.

256
00:25:30,642 --> 00:25:33,562
That is blameworthy.

257
00:25:35,762 --> 00:25:41,782
And the Prophet's ﷺ saying,
"Do not get angry," has four points.

258
00:25:44,522 --> 00:25:50,422
How much we need to master these
in dealing with family and friends.

259
00:25:52,842 --> 00:26:00,242
The first matter: avoid anger
altogether—avoid anger itself.

260
00:26:01,342 --> 00:26:07,782
And that is by training yourself
not to get angry.

261
00:26:08,622 --> 00:26:14,482
Train yourself in forbearance
until you become forbearing.

262
00:26:16,722 --> 00:26:21,862
And this is possible. Never say,
"I am quick-tempered."

263
00:26:24,062 --> 00:26:27,662
"That's just my nature."
"I am quick to anger."

264
00:26:29,362 --> 00:26:33,582
You can train yourself
to become forbearing.

265
00:26:35,842 --> 00:26:40,522
Little by little,
you become forbearing.

266
00:26:40,782 --> 00:26:44,702
The Prophet ﷺ said,
"Forbearance comes by practice."

267
00:26:46,142 --> 00:26:47,942
"Forbearance comes by practice."

268
00:26:48,382 --> 00:26:50,982
Narrated by al-Khatib al-Baghdadi;
classed hasan by al-Albani.

269
00:26:53,842 --> 00:26:58,618
So then, the Prophet ﷺ said,
"Do not get angry."

270
00:26:58,702 --> 00:27:02,638
The first thing this includes
is that we avoid anger.

271
00:27:02,722 --> 00:27:05,822
We avoid this trait
by training ourselves.

272
00:27:07,102 --> 00:27:11,822
The second matter is avoiding
the causes of anger.

273
00:27:15,442 --> 00:27:22,582
That means if you find causes
of anger, do not go along with them.

274
00:27:23,562 --> 00:27:26,422
until you get angry.
Rather, stop.

275
00:27:27,242 --> 00:27:29,362
And move away from the cause of anger.

276
00:27:30,942 --> 00:27:37,042
Because if you go along with it,
you'll get angry till it clouds your mind.

277
00:27:40,162 --> 00:27:43,642
This falls under the Prophet's ﷺ
saying, "Do not get angry."

278
00:27:44,202 --> 00:27:47,582
The third matter: restrain your anger.

279
00:27:49,642 --> 00:27:52,522
And do not do what anger demands.

280
00:27:53,762 --> 00:28:01,822
Anger will urge you to things.
Do not obey it; restrain your anger.

281
00:28:02,882 --> 00:28:05,202
This is a quality of successful believers.

282
00:28:05,742 --> 00:28:08,622
Allah ﷻ says,
"and those who restrain anger."

283
00:28:10,262 --> 00:28:13,242
It is a trait of those who have
with Allah ﷻ what is better.

284
00:28:14,942 --> 00:28:17,622
"And when they are angry, they forgive."

285
00:28:19,922 --> 00:28:23,978
So it is a trait of those for whom
Allah ﷻ has prepared what is with Him.

286
00:28:24,062 --> 00:28:27,102
It is better and more lasting
than this world and all in it.

287
00:28:27,842 --> 00:28:31,238
They are those who, when angered, forgive.

288
00:28:31,322 --> 00:28:35,242
So they do not act on anger's demands.

289
00:28:36,422 --> 00:28:38,502
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said.

290
00:28:39,342 --> 00:28:45,422
“Whoever suppresses anger,
while able to act on it.

291
00:28:46,122 --> 00:28:50,542
Allah will call him before all
creation.

292
00:28:51,122 --> 00:28:55,482
Then Allah will let him choose
whichever houris he wishes.”

293
00:28:57,182 --> 00:29:02,018
Reported by Abu Dawud, al-Tirmidhi,
Ibn Majah; al-Albani graded it hasan.

294
00:29:02,102 --> 00:29:07,162
Glory be to Allah!
Whoever suppresses anger.

295
00:29:09,022 --> 00:29:15,962
Suppressing anger means not doing
what it urges you to do.

296
00:29:18,002 --> 00:29:20,322
While able to act on it.

297
00:29:21,262 --> 00:29:24,982
Allah will honor him on Judgment Day
before all witnesses.

298
00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:31,618
by calling him and letting him choose
whichever houris he wishes.

299
00:29:31,702 --> 00:29:37,482
And he ﷺ said, “Whoever
suppresses anger, though able to vent it.”

300
00:29:37,662 --> 00:29:41,382
Allah will fill his heart with
contentment on Judgment Day.”

301
00:29:43,942 --> 00:29:46,598
Allah will fill his heart
with contentment that Day.

302
00:29:46,682 --> 00:29:50,622
Reported by Ibn Abi al-Dunya,
and al-Albani graded it hasan.

303
00:29:52,182 --> 00:29:54,162
This is a trait, brothers.

304
00:29:55,082 --> 00:30:00,242
As they say, it deserves that
we strive against ourselves over it.

305
00:30:02,002 --> 00:30:04,682
And be among those who restrain anger.

306
00:30:05,922 --> 00:30:13,682
The fourth matter: do not do
or say anything when angry.

307
00:30:15,442 --> 00:30:20,382
As for the previous one, we said:
Do not do what anger demands of you.

308
00:30:21,922 --> 00:30:25,022
Here we say it is included in the hadith.

309
00:30:25,722 --> 00:30:27,882
Do not do anything when angry.

310
00:30:28,922 --> 00:30:31,822
Stop acting until you calm down.

311
00:30:33,262 --> 00:30:36,162
And say nothing when angry.
Be silent.

312
00:30:36,982 --> 00:30:41,838
Until you calm down.
Be calm when angry.

313
00:30:42,098 --> 00:30:46,858
The Prophet ﷺ said,
"If one of you gets angry, be silent."

314
00:30:48,438 --> 00:30:50,954
"If one of you gets angry, be silent."

315
00:30:51,038 --> 00:30:52,988
In al-Adab al-Mufrad,
by al-Bukhari.

316
00:30:53,598 --> 00:30:55,758
Also by Ahmad;
authenticated by al-Albani.

317
00:30:57,198 --> 00:30:59,038
And in practice, the Prophet ﷺ said:

318
00:30:59,738 --> 00:31:03,598
"No one should judge between two
people while he is angry."

319
00:31:04,238 --> 00:31:09,098
Agreed upon.
When angry, do not do anything.

320
00:31:11,338 --> 00:31:15,698
Stop what you are doing.
Say nothing. Be silent.

321
00:31:16,958 --> 00:31:19,074
Until you calm down
and sort things out.

322
00:31:19,158 --> 00:31:26,298
These four matters all come under
"Do not get angry," said the Prophet ﷺ.

323
00:31:27,638 --> 00:31:32,418
So the Prophet ﷺ advised us
regarding these four matters.

324
00:31:34,778 --> 00:31:38,938
Anger is an ember,
and it has what can quench it.

325
00:31:42,058 --> 00:31:45,348
There are things that help
ward it off.

326
00:31:47,038 --> 00:31:52,258
The first of these means is
that you know and are certain.

327
00:31:53,478 --> 00:31:58,238
that not getting angry wards off
Allah's anger from you.

328
00:32:00,758 --> 00:32:02,798
That you know and are certain.

329
00:32:03,898 --> 00:32:07,838
that not getting angry wards off
Allah's anger from you.

330
00:32:10,118 --> 00:32:14,418
Whoever does not get angry at Allah's
creatures, Allah won't be angry with him.

331
00:32:16,678 --> 00:32:19,534
It is reported from
'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As RA.

332
00:32:19,618 --> 00:32:24,838
He asked the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ:
What will keep me from Allah's anger?

333
00:32:25,858 --> 00:32:31,894
What a tremendous question:
What keeps me far from Allah's anger?

334
00:32:31,978 --> 00:32:35,918
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
"Do not get angry."

335
00:32:37,438 --> 00:32:41,218
Narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban.
Al-Albani graded it hasan.

336
00:32:43,898 --> 00:32:46,958
If you want to be far
from Allah's anger.

337
00:32:48,818 --> 00:32:52,524
then train yourself
not to get angry.

338
00:32:52,608 --> 00:32:56,178
unless that anger is praiseworthy,
as we mentioned earlier.

339
00:32:57,858 --> 00:33:00,938
And it is reported from
'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As RA.

340
00:33:03,338 --> 00:33:05,998
This is a tremendous matter,
and a tremendous question.

341
00:33:07,138 --> 00:33:13,838
This is not just for
'Abdullah ibn 'Amr; it's for all Muslims.

342
00:33:16,258 --> 00:33:18,918
If you want to keep away from
Allah's wrath.

343
00:33:21,058 --> 00:33:24,878
Then beware of getting angry
with Allah's creation. Do not get angry.

344
00:33:25,138 --> 00:33:29,358
And there is no doubt, brothers,
that if the believer knew this for sure.

345
00:33:30,078 --> 00:33:35,318
Then, by Allah's leave, it would help
him not to be quick-tempered.

346
00:33:36,038 --> 00:33:42,538
The second point is to remember
the advice of Allah's Messenger ﷺ.

347
00:33:42,798 --> 00:33:47,454
Whenever anger appears to you,
remind yourself.

348
00:33:47,538 --> 00:33:52,058
of the Prophet's ﷺ words:
"Do not get angry."

349
00:33:53,138 --> 00:33:58,654
And imagine that the Prophet ﷺ
is before you in that situation.

350
00:33:58,738 --> 00:34:04,698
He says to you, "Do not get angry."
Would you? That, that, is the reality.

351
00:34:05,938 --> 00:34:10,894
The Prophet ﷺ gave you
this advice.

352
00:34:10,978 --> 00:34:16,714
And there is no doubt that if you
remember it as a lover of the Prophet ﷺ.

353
00:34:16,798 --> 00:34:19,458
The intensity of anger
within you will be broken.

354
00:34:21,438 --> 00:34:27,314
The third matter is to remember
the great reward on Judgment Day.

355
00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:30,058
For one who restrains anger,
as mentioned earlier.

356
00:34:32,478 --> 00:34:39,158
And that, by a single moment
of suppressing his anger.

357
00:34:40,778 --> 00:34:44,218
he attains Allah's favor and
Allah's generosity on that Day.

358
00:34:45,038 --> 00:34:48,078
And Allah will honor him
before all creation.

359
00:34:48,978 --> 00:34:53,178
The fourth matter is that one says
when angry:

360
00:34:53,298 --> 00:34:55,958
"I seek refuge in Allah
from Satan, the accursed."

361
00:34:58,378 --> 00:35:00,438
For what incites anger.

362
00:35:01,717 --> 00:35:08,034
It is Satan. So when the Prophet ﷺ
saw two men insulting each other.

363
00:35:08,118 --> 00:35:13,038
One of them became angry.
His face reddened, his veins swelled.

364
00:35:13,138 --> 00:35:15,214
He insulted his companion more.

365
00:35:15,298 --> 00:35:21,158
He said, “I know a word: if he
said it, what he feels would leave him.”

366
00:35:21,658 --> 00:35:26,778
“I seek refuge in Allah from Satan,
the accursed.” Agreed upon.

367
00:35:28,618 --> 00:35:32,998
The fifth point is to change position.

368
00:35:34,458 --> 00:35:40,298
If he is standing, let him sit.
If he is sitting, let him lie down.

369
00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:49,107
The Prophet ﷺ said: “If one of you
grows angry while standing, let him sit.”

370
00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:53,158
“If his anger subsides.
Otherwise, let him lie down.”

371
00:35:53,438 --> 00:35:55,698
Abu Dawud; al-Albani authenticated it.

372
00:35:58,098 --> 00:36:03,838
The scholars said this also includes
any change in posture.

373
00:36:05,178 --> 00:36:07,298
From strength to weakness.

374
00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:12,918
Meaning: if a person is standing,
he can act more, so let him sit.

375
00:36:14,618 --> 00:36:17,237
so he is less able to act.

376
00:36:18,038 --> 00:36:22,558
If he was sitting, let him lie down.
He moves to a weaker state.

377
00:36:22,658 --> 00:36:27,138
He changes his posture
from strong to weak.

378
00:36:28,218 --> 00:36:30,934
so that he can control himself
when angry.

379
00:36:31,018 --> 00:36:37,698
The sixth is to be calm and silent
when angry.

380
00:36:40,078 --> 00:36:44,318
The Prophet ﷺ said, as we said,
"If one of you gets angry, be silent."

381
00:36:44,918 --> 00:36:52,662
The seventh, and this too is useful:
that he walk out.

382
00:36:54,002 --> 00:36:56,562
If he's with his wife,
let him leave the room.

383
00:36:59,002 --> 00:37:02,062
If she follows him, let him leave
the house.

384
00:37:04,462 --> 00:37:09,942
If you are with your friend somewhere,
and he angers you, leave that place.

385
00:37:13,082 --> 00:37:14,342
One of the Salaf said.

386
00:37:16,022 --> 00:37:21,542
"My anger is at my sandals."
"My anger is at my sandals."

387
00:37:22,762 --> 00:37:26,862
Meaning: if I get angry,
I put on my sandals and go out.

388
00:37:29,182 --> 00:37:34,642
And that takes anger away.

389
00:37:35,602 --> 00:37:40,162
The eighth is to remember
what strength is.

390
00:37:41,722 --> 00:37:45,222
Strength lies in controlling oneself
when angry.

391
00:37:46,902 --> 00:37:52,562
The truly strong one is he who
masters himself, not people.

392
00:37:54,962 --> 00:38:01,922
The truly strong one is he who
masters himself, not people.

393
00:38:04,902 --> 00:38:10,722
Brothers, self-struggle exists only
in two states: desire and anger.

394
00:38:13,382 --> 00:38:18,462
When does it appear you are strong?
When you master yourself over desire.

395
00:38:20,462 --> 00:38:27,222
and place it only in what is lawful,
and master yourself in anger.

396
00:38:30,962 --> 00:38:35,842
The Prophet ﷺ said,
“The strong is not the one who overpowers others.”

397
00:38:37,042 --> 00:38:42,502
"Rather, the strong is he who
controls himself in anger." Agreed upon.

398
00:38:48,902 --> 00:38:50,362
It is only forty-five minutes.

399
00:38:53,002 --> 00:38:59,562
So the strong among us is not
the one who wrestles and beats people.

400
00:39:00,462 --> 00:39:03,242
Rather, the strong one is the one
who restrains himself.

401
00:39:04,002 --> 00:39:09,402
When angry.
Imam Ibn al-Jawzi RH says.

402
00:39:10,302 --> 00:39:16,922
When you see your friend angry
and speaking improperly.

403
00:39:19,262 --> 00:39:23,502
You should not hold him to
what he says at all.

404
00:39:26,162 --> 00:39:31,842
Nor should you blame him for it
for his state is like a drunkard's.

405
00:39:33,442 --> 00:39:37,542
He does not know what he is saying.
Rather, be patient with his outburst.

406
00:39:38,202 --> 00:39:41,362
Brothers, an angry person may even
turn on himself.

407
00:39:43,082 --> 00:39:46,702
In his anger, he may accuse himself
of faults he does not have.

408
00:39:49,862 --> 00:39:56,418
Some people, for example, quarrel
with their wives and get angry.

409
00:39:56,502 --> 00:40:02,898
If she says, 'Yes, I'm such-and-such,'
he holds her to what she said.

410
00:40:02,982 --> 00:40:06,802
He says, 'On such-and-such day,
you said such-and-such.'

411
00:40:08,222 --> 00:40:10,222
An angry person knows not what he says.

412
00:40:12,102 --> 00:40:15,542
And in anger he is carried away
into what he does not believe.

413
00:40:18,162 --> 00:40:22,218
He says: he is like a drunkard;
he does not know what he says.

414
00:40:22,302 --> 00:40:28,702
Rather, bear with his outburst.
Do not heed it. Satan has overcome him.

415
00:40:29,782 --> 00:40:34,022
His nature has flared up,
and his reason is veiled.

416
00:40:34,782 --> 00:40:40,422
If you take it to heart against him,
or answer him in kind.

417
00:40:40,922 --> 00:40:44,202
You are like a sane man
facing a madman.

418
00:40:44,882 --> 00:40:48,302
Or like a conscious man
rebuking the unconscious.

419
00:40:49,262 --> 00:40:51,382
Then the blame is on you;
he bears no blame.

420
00:40:52,142 --> 00:40:55,042
He has become like
someone unconscious.

421
00:40:56,962 --> 00:41:03,042
He said: rather, look with mercy,
and see the decree at work in him.

422
00:41:04,521 --> 00:41:09,242
Know that when he comes to himself,
he will regret what occurred.

423
00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:13,662
He'll appreciate your patience.

424
00:41:16,962 --> 00:41:19,142
An angry person asks
for what he doesn't want.

425
00:41:20,682 --> 00:41:26,542
A woman, when angry, may say:
'Divorce me! Be a man—divorce me.'

426
00:41:29,902 --> 00:41:33,262
If the man is patient,
calms down, and holds back.

427
00:41:34,122 --> 00:41:38,482
he does nothing. Once the anger subsides,
she thanks him for what he did.

428
00:41:39,602 --> 00:41:44,762
But if he divorces her
in a state where divorce takes effect.

429
00:41:48,762 --> 00:41:55,462
Then as soon as she realizes it,
she starts crying, pleading, and looking.

430
00:41:56,542 --> 00:41:58,742
That is why he says, RH.

431
00:41:59,682 --> 00:42:02,842
And know that when he comes to himself,
he regrets what happened.

432
00:42:03,322 --> 00:42:05,342
He'll appreciate your patience.

433
00:42:05,742 --> 00:42:11,442
Whenever you hear a word from him,
answer it with a beautiful word.

434
00:42:13,602 --> 00:42:16,662
For it is stronger in
restraining his tongue.

435
00:42:19,502 --> 00:42:23,902
This too helps extinguish anger.
Meet ugliness with goodness.

436
00:42:27,722 --> 00:42:30,382
That will make him calm down.

437
00:42:31,582 --> 00:42:36,582
I will end this principle with fine words
mentioned by Ibn Abd al-Barr.

438
00:42:37,382 --> 00:42:38,742
From Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz.

439
00:42:40,782 --> 00:42:43,518
Ibn Abd al-Barr said:
Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz said.

440
00:42:43,602 --> 00:42:47,402
The most beloved to Allah ﷻ are four.

441
00:42:48,802 --> 00:42:55,486
Moderation when heated —
or, he said, when earnest.

442
00:42:55,570 --> 00:43:01,490
Forbearance when angry, and
gentleness to Allah's servants always.

443
00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:04,050
And pardon when able.

444
00:43:06,010 --> 00:43:11,250
Moderation when heated means
when a person becomes heated.

445
00:43:14,250 --> 00:43:19,366
He does not wrong others in speech,
or go to excess, or add to it.

446
00:43:19,450 --> 00:43:25,450
And when earnest, he does not
go to excess in love or attachment.

447
00:43:28,510 --> 00:43:30,610
He may promise things
he cannot do.

448
00:43:31,100 --> 00:43:33,850
Some young men, when they first
get married.

449
00:43:35,270 --> 00:43:38,350
in their eagerness, burden
themselves with what they can't bear.

450
00:43:38,910 --> 00:43:41,690
I'll do this for you,
and this for you, and this for you.

451
00:43:41,790 --> 00:43:47,590
He promises her again and again,
then gets stuck and can't do it.

452
00:43:49,430 --> 00:43:51,570
So moderation in earnestness
is praiseworthy.

453
00:43:55,130 --> 00:44:01,970
Even some people, when they first
befriend someone, keep going to his house.

454
00:44:02,070 --> 00:44:08,150
They keep going out with him,
and may say things they shouldn't say.

455
00:44:09,110 --> 00:44:12,790
Moderation in earnestness or anger
is praiseworthy.

456
00:44:14,470 --> 00:44:20,070
Pardon when able. We'll discuss it
after prayer, Allah willing.

457
00:44:21,130 --> 00:44:28,006
Allah ﷻ loves forbearance in anger.
And gentleness with His servants always.

458
00:44:28,090 --> 00:44:34,646
Let's stop at this point, pray Maghrib,
and return after prayer, if Allah wills.

459
00:44:34,730 --> 00:44:39,986
We'll go through the principles,
even briefly, and finish them here.

460
00:44:40,070 --> 00:44:43,710
Because tomorrow, Allah willing,
we'll move to the 2nd and 3rd matters.

461
00:44:44,070 --> 00:44:46,950
May Allah aid all.
Prayers and peace upon our Prophet ﷺ.