1 00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:05,080 Praise be to Allah, Lord of all worlds. 2 00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:10,700 And the fullest, most perfect blessings and peace upon him, sent as mercy to all. 3 00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:15,980 And upon his family and companions all together. Now then. 4 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:23,580 Welcome, brothers and sisters, to this third session. 5 00:00:24,860 --> 00:00:28,600 from the first day's sessions. 6 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:36,960 of this course, which I ask Allah ﷻ to make blessed and beneficial. 7 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,580 We are still with the first matter. 8 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:51,816 of the matters we discuss in this course. 9 00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:55,660 It is principles for dealing with family and companions. 10 00:00:57,220 --> 00:01:01,880 We have already mentioned four principles. 11 00:01:03,420 --> 00:01:06,660 And we begin the fifth principle. 12 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:12,566 And I remind the brothers that, Allah willing, we will speak. 13 00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:15,620 for half an hour on the course material. 14 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:20,660 Then for about twenty minutes, Allah willing, until the adhan. 15 00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:25,540 we will answer whatever questions we can. 16 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:32,520 The fifth principle in dealing with family and friends. 17 00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:39,440 Keeping away from the diseases of the heart: doubts and suspicions. 18 00:01:42,540 --> 00:01:48,590 And the blights of deeds: mutual hatred, envy, and their causes. 19 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:56,260 Keeping away from the diseases of the heart: doubts and suspicions. 20 00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:02,000 Meaning: and keeping away from the blights of deeds. 21 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:07,140 from mutual hatred and envy and from their causes. 22 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:14,300 The diseases of the heart are doubts and evil suspicions. 23 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:20,620 They spoil life and constrict the chest. 24 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:28,860 They lead to sins and to estrangement and hatred. 25 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:38,260 Whoever obeys his doubts and follows his bad suspicions. 26 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:49,120 He sins, his chest becomes tight, and his life is embittered. 27 00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:57,900 He trusts no one around him, neither his housemate nor companion. 28 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:08,040 That leads him to become distant. 29 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:15,900 from his family and friends, or they become distant from him. 30 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,060 Allah ﷻ said. 31 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:25,780 "O you who believe, avoid much suspicion." 32 00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:28,160 "Indeed, some suspicion is sin." 33 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:33,240 "Do not spy or backbite one another." 34 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,620 "Would any of you like to eat his dead brother's flesh? You'd hate it." 35 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,640 "And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance, Merciful." 36 00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:49,140 "O you who believe, avoid much suspicion." 37 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:55,320 Why? Some suspicion is sin. Notice the contrast. 38 00:03:56,240 --> 00:04:04,420 Allah ﷻ commanded us to avoid much evil suspicion. 39 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,480 Why? Because some suspicion is sin. 40 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:16,000 So our Lord required us to leave much suspicion. 41 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,660 for fear of falling into sin. 42 00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:25,160 because some suspicion is sin. 43 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:33,780 These are diseases of the heart. Do not spy. 44 00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:42,240 Do not seek out faults, nor uncover anything without cause. 45 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:50,800 These are the ills of conduct that lead to hatred and estrangement. 46 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:58,140 It was narrated from Anas (RA) that the Prophet ﷺ said. 47 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:03,220 Do not envy one another. Do not hate one another. 48 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:08,380 Do not spy on one another. Do not eavesdrop. 49 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:15,360 Do not make false bids. Be brothers, O servants of Allah ﷻ. 50 00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:24,696 This hadith shows that what comes before the phrase 51 00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,740 Be brothers, O servants of Allah ﷻ. 52 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:34,120 That contradicts brotherhood and opposes it. 53 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:41,580 Among the rights of brotherhood is that we do not envy. 54 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:47,440 and that we do not hate or cut one another off. 55 00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:54,200 and that we do not spy or eavesdrop. 56 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:07,100 and that none of us does anything that harms another. 57 00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:14,060 Envy ruins affection. 58 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:17,860 Envy is not ghibtah. 59 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:25,760 Ghibtah is wishing for something like what your brother has. 60 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:34,640 As for envy, it is wishing that your brother's blessing vanish. 61 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:42,000 whether you want it to pass to you or not. 62 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:49,220 If envy enters a family, it tears it apart. 63 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,860 If it occurs among friends it brings about enmity. 64 00:06:56,700 --> 00:07:01,600 How many a friend envied his friend. 65 00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:07,300 How many an associate envied another and that led him to wrong him. 66 00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:12,700 And perhaps he dressed that up in the garb of piety and religion. 67 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:22,500 Therefore, this matter is a blight one must protect his heart from. 68 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,040 Mutual envy is a path to hatred. 69 00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:33,200 Do not snoop, and do not spy. 70 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:46,180 Some scholars said: spying is tracking private faults and seeking them. 71 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:54,980 And snooping is listening to people's talk without permission. 72 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:09,440 And some scholars also said spying is searching hidden matters. 73 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:15,600 And snooping is seeking what can be perceived by the eye. 74 00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:23,740 Overall, the meaning is 75 00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:31,240 Do not pursue private faults by any means without cause for suspicion. 76 00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:42,180 If no fault appears from your family then do not inspect or search. 77 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:44,960 Your companion. 78 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:48,600 If no private fault appears from him and no flaw becomes visible. 79 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:53,980 So do not spy. Do not inspect or search. 80 00:08:56,560 --> 00:09:11,680 Among the afflictions of companionship is asking too much about faults. 81 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:23,870 Either by asking the one you live with or your friend, or by asking others. 82 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:31,220 Some people, without suspicion interrogate their wives every day. 83 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:37,720 Did you do it? Swear by Allah. Did you do such-and-such? 84 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:43,080 And his wife does the same. Or he goes and asks. 85 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,360 You sit with so-and-so. Does he speak about me? 86 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:56,700 Does your friend insult me in your presence? Nothing suggests it. 87 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:02,760 Among the afflictions of our time. 88 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,340 Checking phones without suspicion. 89 00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:15,560 So you find a woman searching through her husband's phone. 90 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,360 Without any clear suspicion and without his permission. 91 00:10:22,599 --> 00:10:29,330 She may come across something and misunderstand it. So may the husband. 92 00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:39,120 If there is suspicion, there are ways to clear it up. 93 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:47,500 But if there is no suspicion, there should be no spying or snooping. 94 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:55,260 For this may lead a person to making himself miserable. 95 00:10:56,940 --> 00:11:06,040 and to making others miserable, and to breeding enmity and hatred. 96 00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:13,820 The sixth principle: concealing private faults. 97 00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:23,180 being patient with shortcomings and being thankful for kindness. 98 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:29,800 These are three matters tightly bound to one another. 99 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:37,420 Concealing faults, as we discussed earlier. 100 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:44,620 If a person lives with another, he is bound to see a fault in him. 101 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,240 All the children of Adam err. 102 00:11:52,060 --> 00:11:58,060 As Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah RH said, sin is inseparable from man. 103 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,060 Best sinners are those who repent. 104 00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:08,540 You may notice a fault in your companion. 105 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:13,912 A wife may notice a fault in her husband. 106 00:12:13,996 --> 00:12:17,356 A husband may notice a fault in his wife. 107 00:12:20,876 --> 00:12:25,962 And we are speaking of private faults, not public ones. 108 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:29,936 Those that affect others and harm the Ummah. 109 00:12:31,756 --> 00:12:34,516 Nor the faults a person commits openly. 110 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,236 Whoever does that openly has sinned. 111 00:12:49,546 --> 00:12:55,916 Whoever wants Allah ﷻ to cover his faults, let him cover others' faults. 112 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:01,056 For recompense matches the deed. 113 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:18,076 If a person sees a fault in one he lives with or accompanies. 114 00:13:21,256 --> 00:13:28,196 He should not look at the fault alone unless he wants to correct it. 115 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:35,476 No one is without faults. And everyone has virtues. 116 00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:41,116 If you want to assess your companion. 117 00:13:41,736 --> 00:13:45,876 Do not look at his fault alone. 118 00:13:47,376 --> 00:13:51,596 But if you remember his fault, remind yourself of his virtues. 119 00:13:59,496 --> 00:14:02,316 A person looks at a fault alone 120 00:14:03,636 --> 00:14:06,756 only if he wants to correct it. 121 00:14:10,536 --> 00:14:16,876 And he wanted to advise his companion. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said. 122 00:14:17,776 --> 00:14:22,415 Whoever covers a Muslim's faults, Allah will conceal him on Judgment Day. 123 00:14:23,436 --> 00:14:26,612 Agreed upon. Muslim also narrates. 124 00:14:26,696 --> 00:14:31,956 Whoever covers a Muslim's faults, Allah will conceal him in both worlds. 125 00:14:34,616 --> 00:14:38,056 So whoever covers a Muslim's faults, even if he is far away. 126 00:14:39,096 --> 00:14:45,616 He is promised Allah will conceal him in this world and the Hereafter. 127 00:14:46,496 --> 00:14:51,776 Abu Hurayrah RA reported that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said. 128 00:14:52,596 --> 00:14:59,996 No servant covers another's faults here, but Allah covers him that Day. 129 00:15:01,116 --> 00:15:07,316 Reported by Muslim in the Sahih. Imam Ibn 'Uthaymin RH said. 130 00:15:08,296 --> 00:15:13,836 Whoever covers a Muslim's faults, i.e., hides and covers his fault. 131 00:15:15,936 --> 00:15:17,896 Concealment is hiding what exists. 132 00:15:22,716 --> 00:15:28,396 The shaykh said: a curtain hides the thing and covers it. 133 00:15:29,416 --> 00:15:35,316 What is meant is concealing a Muslim who did something blameworthy. 134 00:15:37,056 --> 00:15:40,996 It may be in decency or character. 135 00:15:42,056 --> 00:15:45,136 It may be in religion and deeds. 136 00:15:45,936 --> 00:15:48,716 Allah will conceal him in this life and the Hereafter. 137 00:15:49,636 --> 00:15:54,236 Whoever sees in his brother a fault related to decency. 138 00:15:57,036 --> 00:16:02,916 It may relate to character or appearance. 139 00:16:05,996 --> 00:16:09,396 A person may have a visible physical flaw. 140 00:16:10,796 --> 00:16:13,136 Or it may concern religion and deeds. 141 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:19,716 If he conceals it and does not spread it. 142 00:16:21,436 --> 00:16:26,776 He is promised this great reward. Allah will conceal him in both worlds. 143 00:16:27,536 --> 00:16:30,856 Shaykh Ibn Baz RH said in a profound, solid statement. 144 00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:40,056 This is what is prescribed if one sees a fellow Muslim's private fault, a sin. 145 00:16:40,776 --> 00:16:45,076 He should not expose him or spread it among people. 146 00:16:45,856 --> 00:16:51,356 Rather, he should conceal it, advise him, and guide him to good. 147 00:16:52,156 --> 00:16:57,116 Concealment, brothers, does not mean not advising. 148 00:16:57,736 --> 00:17:01,296 But some scholars said some excellent words on this. 149 00:17:02,236 --> 00:17:06,536 They said: advice doesn't require telling him. 150 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:10,135 Rather, it may be wise. 151 00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:18,196 Not to tell the one advised that a certain person saw him. 152 00:17:19,276 --> 00:17:26,096 For example, they say: if a father sees his son smoking. 153 00:17:28,936 --> 00:17:35,356 They said wisdom dictates not telling him he saw him. 154 00:17:37,496 --> 00:17:45,376 They said: for two reasons. First, so the sin won't seem light. 155 00:17:46,676 --> 00:17:52,712 For as long as he thinks his father has not found out. 156 00:17:52,796 --> 00:17:58,596 The sin remains heavy on him. If he knows, it becomes lighter. 157 00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:05,676 The second reason is so he isn't humiliated before his father. 158 00:18:10,576 --> 00:18:15,096 So he advises him without telling him he saw him. 159 00:18:15,996 --> 00:18:21,108 As if he brings up scholars' talk about smoking. 160 00:18:21,192 --> 00:18:26,212 He puts it on in the car as they drive, as if by chance. 161 00:18:28,512 --> 00:18:31,372 Or he writes him an unsigned letter. 162 00:18:32,732 --> 00:18:37,592 advising him about smoking without saying who advised him. 163 00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:46,592 This is great wisdom; it is not limited to a son; I cite it as an example. 164 00:18:50,332 --> 00:18:54,492 If he needs to tell him, he does so without exposing him. 165 00:18:56,112 --> 00:18:59,712 If needed, for example, he should not bring him before his brothers. 166 00:19:00,392 --> 00:19:04,111 and say, "I saw you in such-and-such place doing that." 167 00:19:05,012 --> 00:19:11,312 That would expose him before his brothers; it should be between them. 168 00:19:13,932 --> 00:19:16,712 So the shaykh says: this is a fine observation. 169 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:24,432 Concealment does not mean leaving sincere advice. The shaykh says. 170 00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:29,968 Do not expose him or spread it among the people. 171 00:19:30,052 --> 00:19:35,088 Rather, conceal it for him, advise him, and guide him to good. 172 00:19:35,172 --> 00:19:38,272 And call him to repent to Allah for it. 173 00:19:38,792 --> 00:19:42,928 Whoever does this and conceals his brother's fault. 174 00:19:43,012 --> 00:19:46,248 Allah will conceal him in this world and the Hereafter. 175 00:19:46,332 --> 00:19:48,732 For the recompense matches the deed. 176 00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:53,568 If this applies to a distant brother. 177 00:19:53,652 --> 00:19:57,212 Then what about one you live with? What about a husband or a wife? 178 00:19:57,752 --> 00:20:02,392 What about friends? What about the rest of the family? 179 00:20:03,932 --> 00:20:13,372 The shaykh said: As for those who openly sin and feel no shame. 180 00:20:13,472 --> 00:20:18,932 They have exposed themselves so they are not to be concealed. 181 00:20:19,972 --> 00:20:24,992 No concealment is due to one who exposes and publicizes his sin. 182 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:32,672 One of the Salaf said — as quoted by Ibn Baz RH: I met people with no faults. 183 00:20:33,212 --> 00:20:38,372 They mentioned people's faults so people mentioned faults in them. 184 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:42,172 And I met people who had faults. 185 00:20:42,932 --> 00:20:47,092 They refrained from mentioning people's faults, so theirs were forgotten. 186 00:20:47,812 --> 00:20:54,832 He said: I met people with no faults. Meaning, none were open, but concealed. 187 00:20:55,492 --> 00:21:02,128 They mentioned people's faults so their own faults were exposed. 188 00:21:02,212 --> 00:21:05,732 Recompense matches the deed: whoever conceals is concealed. 189 00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:09,672 Whoever exposes is exposed. Recompense matches the deed. 190 00:21:10,652 --> 00:21:14,152 Whoever conceals is concealed and whoever exposes is exposed. 191 00:21:15,352 --> 00:21:22,232 And so, the report continues. 192 00:21:23,692 --> 00:21:29,072 There were people who had faults. 193 00:21:29,232 --> 00:21:34,462 But they concealed people's faults so their own faults were not spread. 194 00:21:35,612 --> 00:21:37,792 And their faults did not appear. 195 00:21:38,852 --> 00:21:42,092 So two groups fall outside concealment. 196 00:21:43,082 --> 00:21:49,672 The first category the Shaykh named is one who shamelessly publicizes his sin. 197 00:21:52,552 --> 00:22:00,032 And the second category is one who calls to evil or falsehood. 198 00:22:01,992 --> 00:22:04,052 Such a person is not told: 'Why didn't you conceal him?' 199 00:22:04,732 --> 00:22:10,428 Nor, 'Why didn't you go to him?' He made it public and called people to it. 200 00:22:10,512 --> 00:22:15,592 This is a public fault, not a private one. 201 00:22:17,512 --> 00:22:22,981 Al-Nawawi RH said: As for concealment recommended here. 202 00:22:24,132 --> 00:22:29,438 What is meant is concealing people of standing and the like. 203 00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:33,072 Who are not known for harm and corruption. 204 00:22:33,992 --> 00:22:39,472 But one known for that should not be concealed. 205 00:22:39,972 --> 00:22:44,092 Rather, his case should be referred to the authorities. 206 00:22:44,712 --> 00:22:47,352 If no resulting harm is feared. 207 00:22:48,272 --> 00:22:54,432 Because concealing such a person emboldens him to harm and wrongdoing. 208 00:22:54,552 --> 00:22:56,992 and to violate sacred limits. 209 00:22:58,472 --> 00:23:01,312 And emboldening others to do likewise. 210 00:23:02,212 --> 00:23:07,872 All this concerns concealing a sin that occurred and ended. 211 00:23:09,432 --> 00:23:13,412 Of course, the discussion here is about concealing a brother generally. 212 00:23:14,792 --> 00:23:19,392 We are applying it here to family and friends. 213 00:23:21,572 --> 00:23:24,762 As we said. 214 00:23:25,552 --> 00:23:30,772 The discussion is about sins whose doer hides them. 215 00:23:33,512 --> 00:23:35,772 Al-Nawawi RH said. 216 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:40,591 As for a sin he saw him committing. 217 00:23:40,832 --> 00:23:46,368 While he was still committing it. 218 00:23:46,452 --> 00:23:50,672 Then one must promptly denounce it to him. 219 00:23:51,412 --> 00:23:56,012 And stop him from it if one is able. 220 00:23:57,752 --> 00:24:01,732 He said: As for criticizing narrators, this was mentioned earlier. 221 00:24:02,352 --> 00:24:06,968 As for criticizing narrators, witnesses, and trustees. 222 00:24:07,052 --> 00:24:10,268 over charities, endowments, and orphans. 223 00:24:10,352 --> 00:24:13,928 meaning trustees of orphans and the like. 224 00:24:14,012 --> 00:24:17,112 They must be criticized when needed. 225 00:24:18,172 --> 00:24:23,220 Nor may they be concealed if one sees in them 226 00:24:23,580 --> 00:24:25,880 anything that undermines their fitness. 227 00:24:26,660 --> 00:24:29,860 This is not prohibited backbiting. 228 00:24:30,580 --> 00:24:35,400 Rather, it is obligatory advice. And this is unanimously agreed. 229 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,960 Now, when you speak about a man who deceives people in their religion. 230 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:47,040 and you are compelled to do so. and you adopt this course. 231 00:24:48,540 --> 00:24:52,180 Someone comes and says, "This is backbiting! Where is his concealment?" 232 00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:58,616 This is sincere advice, and the scholars have unanimously agreed. 233 00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:07,140 It is obligatory for whoever can. 234 00:25:17,220 --> 00:25:20,640 Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymin RH said in his commentary on this hadith. 235 00:25:24,700 --> 00:25:30,240 Concealment may be commanded and praised, and may be forbidden. 236 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:37,380 If we see someone committing a sin, and he is an evil man, steeped in sins. 237 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:42,580 Concealment only increases him in transgression, we do not hide him. 238 00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:48,640 But if no bad signs appear from him. 239 00:25:49,740 --> 00:25:51,780 Yet he made a slip. 240 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:57,680 It is recommended that you conceal it for him and not disclose it to anyone. 241 00:25:58,620 --> 00:26:05,600 He also said: This includes concealing his physical defect. 242 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,900 if he has a defect in his appearance, such as wounds. 243 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,580 or the like, while he keeps it hidden. 244 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,280 and prefers that people not see it. 245 00:26:23,330 --> 00:26:25,920 Al-Hafiz Ibn Abd al-Barr RH said. 246 00:26:26,980 --> 00:26:33,520 On concealing a Muslim's faults, there are many authentic reports. 247 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:42,320 So this is the first matter: concealing private faults. 248 00:26:45,260 --> 00:26:49,600 which a person hides and does not publicize. 249 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,020 The second matter. 250 00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:05,600 Showing gratitude for kindness. 251 00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:13,320 And this is one of the pillars of this principle. 252 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,420 So if one close to you shows kindness. 253 00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:26,449 Or if a friend shows kindness. 254 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:33,380 then the Sharia calls for thanking him for it. 255 00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:39,760 And this brings hearts together and strengthens affection. 256 00:27:41,740 --> 00:27:46,000 It makes the one who does good give more. 257 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:53,020 This is a great Sharia principle. 258 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,100 Now, the third pillar of this principle. 259 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:18,980 What did we say was in this principle? Patience, and persevering in good. 260 00:28:20,860 --> 00:28:25,656 Allah willing, we'll return to it in tomorrow's first lesson. 261 00:28:25,740 --> 00:28:28,280 In the first session, Allah ﷻ willing. 262 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,396 So we can discuss it and tie it together. 263 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:38,860 Then move to the next principle, Allah ﷻ willing, as promised. 264 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:44,300 We'll stop here in presenting the material. 265 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:51,470 And answer some questions, Allah willing, until adhan time. 266 00:28:52,140 --> 00:28:55,340 From what I saw in the timetable, it is 8:15. 267 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,240 So, Allah willing, we will stop then. Yes. 268 00:29:00,060 --> 00:29:02,876 May Allah bless you, noble Shaykh and reward you well. 269 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:06,986 May Allah bless your knowledge. The questioner asks. 270 00:29:07,070 --> 00:29:09,536 Whoever wants to call to Allah at home. 271 00:29:09,620 --> 00:29:14,736 Among his family, parents, and siblings, how should he start? 272 00:29:14,820 --> 00:29:17,050 How should he deal with them if they oppose him? 273 00:29:20,790 --> 00:29:25,950 The people most deserving of advice are family and relatives. 274 00:29:27,860 --> 00:29:31,480 The seeker of knowledge should look after his family. 275 00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:38,080 He should teach his family and bring goodness to his home. 276 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,320 Your parents are most deserving of the knowledge you have. 277 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:54,280 How many seekers of knowledge have parents who need teaching. 278 00:29:54,880 --> 00:30:00,010 He is heedless of that. Yet he may be active in calling others. 279 00:30:01,700 --> 00:30:07,460 They may have flaws in creed. Or they may fall into innovations. 280 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,600 Some may not even recite al-Fatihah properly. 281 00:30:15,460 --> 00:30:18,180 And a student of knowledge is heedless of his parents. 282 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,240 Likewise, his family. 283 00:30:25,020 --> 00:30:32,032 They are most entitled to your knowledge. That is why. 284 00:30:32,732 --> 00:30:39,472 It is good for a student of knowledge to hold a lesson at home. 285 00:30:41,292 --> 00:30:49,108 that suits his family, even if only by way of shared study. 286 00:30:49,192 --> 00:30:55,432 For example, he can take a scholarly Forty Nawawi commentary. 287 00:30:57,672 --> 00:31:03,852 And say to them: Every day, we will read a hadith or part of one. 288 00:31:04,872 --> 00:31:07,348 Today so-and-so reads, tomorrow so-and-so reads. 289 00:31:07,432 --> 00:31:11,032 And the next day, so-and-so reads. Then he discusses it with them. 290 00:31:12,252 --> 00:31:18,432 This means such-and-such, and he relates it to real life, etc. 291 00:31:19,612 --> 00:31:24,992 This is very important, and it has an impact. 292 00:31:26,332 --> 00:31:33,052 Also, make use of the time spent in the car. 293 00:31:34,332 --> 00:31:39,572 Or at home. Through indirect da'wah. 294 00:31:41,732 --> 00:31:46,252 For example, as we said, if a person learns about his family. 295 00:31:47,412 --> 00:31:49,522 A specific issue he wants to address. 296 00:31:52,692 --> 00:31:56,472 He brings clips that address this issue. 297 00:31:57,692 --> 00:32:05,932 As though, as we said, it just came up incidentally, and so on. 298 00:32:09,792 --> 00:32:16,308 Train them to memorize didactic poems, and encourage it at home. 299 00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:26,572 People have greatly begun to lose this, despite its importance and great impact. 300 00:32:28,472 --> 00:32:36,172 Whoever memorizes didactic poems or short primers will master knowledge. 301 00:32:38,972 --> 00:32:42,732 This, subhanAllah, is like a seed. 302 00:32:42,872 --> 00:32:53,332 When the boy or girl grows older, the tree appears, and it becomes clear. 303 00:32:56,912 --> 00:33:00,192 Also, benefit from scholars' clips. 304 00:33:02,692 --> 00:33:10,112 Nowadays, people make a family group on WhatsApp, or the like. 305 00:33:11,252 --> 00:33:17,152 Then he selects clips from trusted, well-known scholars. 306 00:33:20,652 --> 00:33:26,032 He chooses them carefully. Each day, he lets them hear a 3- or 4-minute clip. 307 00:33:27,592 --> 00:33:28,592 Much good comes from this. 308 00:33:31,222 --> 00:33:34,652 It also has great benefits. As for the proper starting point. 309 00:33:36,032 --> 00:33:41,252 Always begin with what the Prophet ﷺ began with: Tawhid. 310 00:33:42,372 --> 00:33:48,432 This is the way of the scholars. They begin by teaching Tawhid. 311 00:33:50,872 --> 00:33:56,072 The Three Fundamental Principles and the types of Tawhid, briefly. 312 00:33:57,372 --> 00:33:59,132 And I have said this repeatedly. 313 00:33:59,912 --> 00:34:04,772 That raising children upon Tawhid of Allah's names and attributes 314 00:34:05,712 --> 00:34:12,292 in ways suited to their ages is among what most affects their lives. 315 00:34:14,132 --> 00:34:17,312 Whoever knows Allah by His names and attributes. 316 00:34:18,132 --> 00:34:20,952 He will fear Allah and be mindful of Him. 317 00:34:22,472 --> 00:34:26,692 And throughout his life, he will remain mindful of Allah. 318 00:34:27,952 --> 00:34:34,832 And this is a tremendous matter. Then after that he moves on. 319 00:34:36,232 --> 00:34:40,632 I mean, to what is closest to Tawhid, then the next closest. Yes. 320 00:34:41,572 --> 00:34:44,012 May Allah bless you, our shaykh. The female questioner says. 321 00:34:44,932 --> 00:34:47,878 These days, a saying has spread among women. 322 00:34:47,962 --> 00:34:52,328 that the husband is secondary and unimportant to us women. 323 00:34:52,412 --> 00:34:56,868 and we do not need him, since we work and need no support from our husbands. 324 00:34:56,952 --> 00:35:01,352 This has led to higher rates of divorce and khul' in Muslim homes. 325 00:35:01,452 --> 00:35:03,852 So what is your advice? May Allah reward you well. 326 00:35:03,952 --> 00:35:05,532 This is one of Shaytan's ways. 327 00:35:08,752 --> 00:35:15,092 And now, Allah protect us, some women seek divorce from their husbands. 328 00:35:15,932 --> 00:35:19,412 then hold a party and post it online. 329 00:35:23,852 --> 00:35:27,892 And these claims that a husband has no value. 330 00:35:30,992 --> 00:35:34,552 are false and corrupt in Sharia and in reality. 331 00:35:38,952 --> 00:35:44,772 A woman, by Sharia and by nature, needs a husband. 332 00:35:48,192 --> 00:35:55,792 Glory be to Allah, how can what is half of religion and faith be unneeded? 333 00:35:58,092 --> 00:36:02,532 "Whoever marries has completed half of the faith." 334 00:36:03,512 --> 00:36:06,232 "Let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." 335 00:36:10,072 --> 00:36:11,632 That is in terms of Sharia. 336 00:36:16,832 --> 00:36:20,812 The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ encouraged marriage. 337 00:36:23,192 --> 00:36:25,732 We have spoken about this repeatedly. 338 00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:40,464 So how can this be deemed worthless and without standing? No doubt it's false. 339 00:36:42,404 --> 00:36:44,924 And it is a cause of widespread corruption. 340 00:36:49,804 --> 00:37:00,384 Sadly, people today follow those of no worth for worthless things. 341 00:37:05,304 --> 00:37:09,564 They follow men and women of no worth and elevate them. 342 00:37:11,444 --> 00:37:18,164 They have no clear religiosity, character, knowledge, or culture. 343 00:37:20,024 --> 00:37:27,384 They follow them in trivialities, what harms, and what leads to evil. 344 00:37:29,644 --> 00:37:38,204 We must be cautious and spread sound concepts and principles. 345 00:37:44,384 --> 00:37:48,760 I have already spoken about the matter of marriage. 346 00:37:48,844 --> 00:37:53,724 in the introduction to the course on fiqh of marital companionship. 347 00:37:56,504 --> 00:38:01,824 So perhaps he can refer back to that. My advice to every young man. 348 00:38:04,344 --> 00:38:08,824 If he can marry, let him marry. 349 00:38:09,924 --> 00:38:11,920 For the Prophet ﷺ said. 350 00:38:12,004 --> 00:38:18,504 "O young men, whoever among you can marry, let him marry." 351 00:38:20,004 --> 00:38:24,484 "For it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity." 352 00:38:27,484 --> 00:38:31,004 "And whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will diminish his desire." 353 00:38:34,364 --> 00:38:39,064 One who does not marry despite being able. 354 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:51,640 There must be some illness in him either physical or psychological. 355 00:38:51,724 --> 00:38:55,844 So he should treat himself for this illness. 356 00:38:56,864 --> 00:39:00,944 Likewise, if a girl is of marriageable age. 357 00:39:03,344 --> 00:39:10,184 And if a suitable suitor comes to propose, she should be married. 358 00:39:10,304 --> 00:39:15,964 And a guardian may not stop her from a suitable match she accepts. 359 00:39:17,704 --> 00:39:21,244 "If one comes to you whose religion and character please you, marry him." 360 00:39:24,784 --> 00:39:29,384 So the advice is for sons and daughters. 361 00:39:30,304 --> 00:39:33,964 And parents too should take care. 362 00:39:35,984 --> 00:39:40,220 To marry off their sons when able. 363 00:39:40,304 --> 00:39:43,744 And to marry off their daughters when they reach marriageable age. 364 00:39:44,604 --> 00:39:48,004 If a suitable suitor comes. Yes. 365 00:39:48,704 --> 00:39:50,760 May Allah reward you, Shaykh. She asks. 366 00:39:50,844 --> 00:39:53,840 Does a wife have the right to treat her husband likewise? 367 00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:56,520 If he yells at her, should she yell back at him? 368 00:39:56,604 --> 00:39:58,803 And if he hits her, should she hit him too? 369 00:40:16,304 --> 00:40:24,304 I cannot imagine a woman doing that. 370 00:40:27,444 --> 00:40:31,344 A woman's femininity prevents her from doing so. 371 00:40:36,344 --> 00:40:41,104 In any case, a wife may not 372 00:40:42,504 --> 00:40:46,884 meet her husband's wrong with a wrong of her own. 373 00:40:48,244 --> 00:40:54,784 Nor may a husband strike his wife in the face at all. 374 00:40:56,644 --> 00:40:58,384 Whatever the reason. 375 00:41:01,204 --> 00:41:04,764 Striking the face is absolutely forbidden. 376 00:41:08,744 --> 00:41:11,364 As for striking for discipline. 377 00:41:13,484 --> 00:41:17,304 It is to show anger, not to injure the body. 378 00:41:18,324 --> 00:41:20,354 Nor to wound dignity. 379 00:41:21,484 --> 00:41:25,144 Nor for personal revenge. 380 00:41:26,384 --> 00:41:29,524 Rather, it is for discipline in a way that does not harm. 381 00:41:30,584 --> 00:41:34,004 It is permissible so long as the law does not forbid it. 382 00:41:35,904 --> 00:41:41,464 But if the law forbids it, obeying the ruler is obligatory. 383 00:41:44,724 --> 00:41:47,264 The scholars explained what this means. 384 00:41:49,644 --> 00:41:53,444 And the intent is only to show her his anger. 385 00:41:53,884 --> 00:41:56,944 Some even said he may strike her with the edge of his garment. 386 00:42:00,684 --> 00:42:05,084 And some said he strikes her with an ordinary siwak. 387 00:42:07,044 --> 00:42:11,524 Just like this, only to make her feel she angered him. 388 00:42:15,444 --> 00:42:18,004 The husband is forbidden to go beyond this. 389 00:42:22,624 --> 00:42:27,104 If he does, he must seek Allah ﷻ's forgiveness and her pardon. 390 00:42:30,804 --> 00:42:34,104 He may face retribution on Judgment Day. We seek refuge in Allah ﷻ. 391 00:42:39,544 --> 00:42:46,826 As for the woman, she may not strike her husband, even if he strikes her. 392 00:42:46,910 --> 00:42:51,636 But if his beating goes too far. She may complain to her family. 393 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:54,636 And she may refer the matter to the authorities. 394 00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:59,280 Today there are agencies dealing with what is called domestic violence. 395 00:43:00,380 --> 00:43:03,096 So if he exceeds the limit. She may report it. 396 00:43:03,180 --> 00:43:08,636 Praise be to Allah, I hear that in the Emirates there are committees. 397 00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:14,620 For reform and education in such cases. This is good to resort to when needed. 398 00:43:16,020 --> 00:43:20,196 If the situation cannot be set right otherwise. 399 00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:26,900 And I think the principles we mentioned have already covered what is enough. 400 00:43:28,020 --> 00:43:30,680 A person only deals with another for Allah's sake. 401 00:43:31,940 --> 00:43:35,880 He fulfills his right and asks Allah for his due. Yes. 402 00:43:36,530 --> 00:43:38,276 May Allah bless you, honorable Shaykh. 403 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,256 She says: I am a woman diagnosed with an illness. 404 00:43:41,340 --> 00:43:45,396 where psychological harm turns into physical harm for me. 405 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,696 She also mentioned that her family harms her psychologically. 406 00:43:48,780 --> 00:43:53,080 This makes her ill and causes her to abandon the obligatory prayers. 407 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:58,510 What do you advise? Should I protect myself by avoiding them, or endure it? 408 00:43:59,940 --> 00:44:05,916 I ask Allah ﷻ, by His Most Beautiful Names and Lofty Attributes, to cure her. 409 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:11,900 and all sick Muslims with a swift cure that leaves no illness. 410 00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:22,440 It is obligatory for her family to take this into account. 411 00:44:24,020 --> 00:44:29,800 They must stop whatever harms her and fear Allah ﷻ concerning her. 412 00:44:32,860 --> 00:44:41,999 If she can still mix with them while reducing the harm. 413 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:48,770 and be patient with what happens to her, that brings great good and reward. 414 00:44:50,460 --> 00:44:56,960 But if she cannot, she may reduce contact. 415 00:44:57,100 --> 00:45:00,260 in a way that wards off harm without shunning. 416 00:45:02,620 --> 00:45:06,429 There is a difference between avoiding contact and shunning. 417 00:45:08,860 --> 00:45:13,580 Shunning means withholding salam when you meet. 418 00:45:16,460 --> 00:45:19,400 And abandoning the affection that is required. 419 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:28,696 As for limiting contact, a person may lessen contact with someone. 420 00:45:28,780 --> 00:45:33,320 whose company harms them, without shunning. 421 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:37,900 For example, some people backbite a lot. 422 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:42,420 Whenever you sit with him, he backbites. 423 00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:50,836 Even if he is a relative, you may sit with him less. 424 00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:57,320 Some people hurt you when you meet. You may keep contact by phone. 425 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,860 at certain times, and so on. 426 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:12,660 If communication and keeping ties bring known, not imagined, harm. 427 00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:20,270 then one may do what wards off harm without shunning. Yes. 428 00:46:22,100 --> 00:46:25,396 May Allah ﷻ reward you, honorable Shaykh. She asks. 429 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,056 If a woman is patient with her husband and chooses to remain. 430 00:46:28,140 --> 00:46:32,076 with him, as you quoted from Imam Ibn Baz RH. 431 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,845 Doesn't her husband fall under the Prophet's ﷺ hadith? 432 00:46:34,929 --> 00:46:38,160 "Whoever has two wives and inclines to one of them... 433 00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:40,880 He will come on Judgment Day with one side leaning?" 434 00:46:41,220 --> 00:46:45,959 No, no, that does not apply here. Because here he gave her a choice. 435 00:46:47,740 --> 00:46:54,160 between patiently enduring his condition. 436 00:46:55,580 --> 00:47:02,440 and divorcing her. She chose to be patient, waiving her right. 437 00:47:05,220 --> 00:47:10,140 If a woman waives her right, that right falls away. 438 00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,876 So the husband is not blameworthy because of this. 439 00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:19,860 But as the Shaykh said, he should not neglect her. 440 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:26,660 and give her what he can, and treat her well. 441 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,176 Of course, brothers, as the Shaykh said. 442 00:47:30,260 --> 00:47:35,700 This is only if matters reach the point where the husband is unable. 443 00:47:40,780 --> 00:47:45,600 Then, instead of rushing to divorce her, he gives her the choice. 444 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:48,840 If she chooses patience. 445 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,440 There is no sin on him as he strives against himself. 446 00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:56,876 If she seeks divorce, he must divorce her. 447 00:47:56,960 --> 00:48:03,440 As long as he cannot give her her due, he must divorce her. Yes. 448 00:48:04,620 --> 00:48:06,260 Allah bless you, noble Shaykh. 449 00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:11,076 Brothers, this is the last question because time is nearly over. 450 00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:14,116 She asks, or he asks: How do we guide our children? 451 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:18,436 in adolescence if they refuse to seek Islamic knowledge. 452 00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:22,920 and are content just with prayer, spending most of their time on the phone. 453 00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:27,876 and games, and useless, funny clips. And Allah's help is sought. 454 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:28,850 How to handle them? 455 00:48:29,940 --> 00:48:32,050 The first thing: be a role model. 456 00:48:34,860 --> 00:48:42,500 Your family and children see you with your phone all the time. 457 00:48:45,140 --> 00:48:48,020 Then you ask them to limit their phone time. 458 00:48:49,820 --> 00:48:56,408 That is hard for them to accept. So make yourself a role model. 459 00:48:58,428 --> 00:49:04,008 Use your phone in moderation and for what is beneficial. 460 00:49:06,288 --> 00:49:11,388 Some people sleep and wake up with the phone in hand. 461 00:49:13,868 --> 00:49:15,628 The first thing they see is the phone. 462 00:49:17,988 --> 00:49:20,928 They check their phone before checking on their children. 463 00:49:23,348 --> 00:49:28,148 All the time they are on the phone, yet want to raise their kids otherwise. 464 00:49:29,508 --> 00:49:31,388 First, make yourself a role model. 465 00:49:33,888 --> 00:49:37,808 And instill this in your children through practicing it. 466 00:49:40,448 --> 00:49:45,428 Also, set a routine for them and be part of it. 467 00:49:46,808 --> 00:49:53,288 Tell them, for example: Between Asr and Isha, we don't use phones. 468 00:49:54,708 --> 00:49:57,628 This is a box. We put the phones in it. 469 00:50:01,728 --> 00:50:07,048 We study. We do what benefits us. We do such-and-such, for example. 470 00:50:11,768 --> 00:50:13,868 And so on, with patience. 471 00:50:14,368 --> 00:50:19,688 Upbringing succeeds only with patience. 472 00:50:21,188 --> 00:50:25,308 Patience is indispensable. And I have said this repeatedly. 473 00:50:26,408 --> 00:50:32,088 If you want them to obey you in banning harm, allow more lawful things. 474 00:50:34,608 --> 00:50:39,708 Be cheerful. Be gentle. Be playful with your family. 475 00:50:40,408 --> 00:50:43,004 Be generous to them in what is lawful. 476 00:50:43,088 --> 00:50:48,808 Allah willing, we'll cover this: principles and examples from the Prophet ﷺ 477 00:50:49,648 --> 00:50:54,544 Then they will obey you when you keep them from harm. 478 00:50:54,628 --> 00:50:59,108 And this is very important, especially with teenagers. 479 00:51:00,808 --> 00:51:05,568 Meet their emotional needs, and give them what they love with warmth. 480 00:51:06,168 --> 00:51:09,548 Show love, and allow permissible play. 481 00:51:10,448 --> 00:51:15,788 Without excess. This helps you prevent what is harmful. 482 00:51:16,558 --> 00:51:18,708 The adhan was given, so perhaps we'll stop here. 483 00:51:19,548 --> 00:51:22,248 And we will meet tomorrow, if Allah ﷻ wills. 484 00:51:22,548 --> 00:51:25,108 May Allah reward you, esteemed Shaykh, and bless you. 485 00:51:25,328 --> 00:51:28,784 We'll meet you tomorrow, dear brothers, after Asr, by Allah's leave. 486 00:51:28,868 --> 00:51:31,128 Peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you.